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Stockton Divorce Law Blog

Sleep problems during the divorce process

From financial issues associated with property division and child support to the amount of time that may need to be devoted to working through a divorce, ending your marriage can bring on a number of challenges. For some people, this may lead to sleep problems, while others may have an especially hard time during the divorce process as a result of an existing sleep disorder. It is very important for people to do everything they can to pursue a favorable outcome during their divorce, especially if critical issues such as a custody dispute are at play. Not only does this include lowering stress levels and staying focused but getting a sufficient amount of sleep is also very important.

People may struggle to fall asleep or have difficulty staying asleep before and during their divorce. For example, someone may not have anticipated a divorce, and when their spouse announces that they are going to file for a divorce they may be emotionally distraught. This can have a number of consequences and may cause sleep problems, which can carry over into other aspects of life (such as adversely affecting one in the workplace). Moreover, someone who is always tired and sleep-deprived may have a more difficult time when trying to deal with various family law issues.

How do I tell people about my divorce?

If you and your spouse have decided to get a divorce, at some point you will need to break this news to your friends and family members. You will also end up having to tell other people who you may not be as close to like your co-workers, neighbors, teachers at your children's school or others. Figuring out how to do this may not always be easy. As recommended by Psychology Today, it is worth your time and effort to think carefully about what you say and when you say it.

One thing to do when deciding how to tell others about your divorce is to focus on what you want them to think about you and how you want them to view your approach to the situation. Putting your attention here rather than on the nitty gritty details of your divorce can help to avoid talking about some of the specifics you may not wish to delve into with everyone. It may also help you to maintain a more positive approach to conversations.

Planning for your child's educational future after divorce

Perhaps the most visible effect that divorce has on your life is the change to your financial makeup. If you were previously sharing a bank account with your spouse and shared assets, retirement benefits and other financial obligations, it could be overwhelming to resume independent responsibility of so many aspects in such a short period of time. At Dianne Drew Butler & Associates, Inc., we are experienced in providing support and guidance to individuals going through a divorce in California. 

If you still have children living at home, chances are you are concerned about their educational future. Even though you may not be receiving as much financial support as before, you can begin taking the steps you need to start saving and continually build a reservoir of funds that can be used for your child's college education. 

What are the two types of guardianship in California?

In the event one or both parents in a California family are unable to care for their child, perhaps due to death, injury or incarceration, it may be necessary to appoint a guardian to look after the child. In cases of probate guardianship, when a person approaches a court to ask for a guardianship appointment, you can expect the state of California to offer two different forms of guardianship. Each of these forms carries distinct responsibilities and can serve different needs.

First, there is the guardianship of the person. Under this form of guardianship, a guardian is basically a de facto parent, with all the responsibilities of custody and care expected of a parent. These include providing shelter, clothing and food for the child, dental and medical care, making sure the child is educated, and also anything related to keeping the child safe and protected.

Collaborating on your divorce could be good for your future

Every divorce is different, and what works best for your unique situation may not work well for someone else. It is smart for a California couple to explore all of the legal options available before they make a choice that will be affect their future for years to come. You may find it beneficial to consider the benefits of collaboration for your divorce. 

Collaboration is a method by which two opposing parties can resolve their disputes in a way that is respectful and peaceful. It allows you to avoid the courtroom and the cost and stress of litigation altogether. Collaborative divorce may be the right way for you and the other party to address your concerns and craft a final divorce settlement that allows you to have a strong and stable post-divorce future.

Do child support payments affect income taxes?

If your divorce decree includes a child support agreement, there may be changes to your federal or state of California income tax returns. The relationship between income tax guidelines and child support payments may be complex, and it is subject to alteration under certain circumstances. The effects your child support payments have on your taxes may change if you modify the custody arrangements or if there are updates to federal or state tax codes.  

According to FindLaw, child support payments usually fall outside the IRS definition of taxable income. This means that if you are the custodial parent receiving child support payments, you do not have to include that money when calculating your tax liability. If you are the non-custodial parent and are making child support payments, you may not deduct those expenses to reduce your tax burden.

The basics of visitation and custody orders after divorce

Every state is different when it comes to divorce and child custody laws, and California is no exception. When a couple divorces, there is property to split, debt to divide and children who are facing tumult in their lives. Many couples have a hard time with divorce when they do not understand the basic legal terms that are used when it comes to child custody.

There are two types of custody, according to the California Courts: physical and legal. Parents may share custody, or one parent may be given full custody of the child. The final decisions about custody and visitation are made by a judge but typically both parents will agree on a parenting plan before any decisions are made and the couple has met with a Family Court Services mediator.

What do I do if my teen wants to live with my ex?

Since your divorce, you've probably had some rocky moments with your kids. If you have the majority of the parenting time, you might be on the front lines most of the time. If they were very young when you divorced, they may have been confused and sad, but older children often act out in other ways. For example, you may have seen some aggression or hostility, or your child may have become moody and withdrawn. Hopefully you worked through those issues.

Now that your children are preteens or teens, you can see distinct personalities emerging. They may have no hesitation about expressing their opinions, especially if they have decided they want to live with their other parent.

Sharing custody of children can be positive and fulfilling

When parents are faced with the seemingly daunting task of arranging a shared custody arrangement during their divorce in California, the chances that they are able to amicably and respectfully share the parenting responsibilities of their children may seem incredibly far-fetched. However, with a bit of commitment and the willingness to acknowledge that flexibility and sacrifice are inevitable, parents can turn a shared custody arrangement into something positive and rewarding for themselves and their children. 

According to, people may need to reevaluate their ability to communicate with their ex when it comes time to agree on a child custody arrangement. When they lived together, did they fight a lot? Were they unable to speak kindly and cordially to each other? If this is the case, parents should discuss ground rules and work hard to develop a respectful and civil relationship despite their marriage ending. Being able to communicate with each other is the foundation for any agreement to work optimally for everyone involved. 

How should debt be split in a divorce?

If you are one of the many people in California who is facing or even in the midst of a divorce, you know firsthand that the process entails a lot more than just one person moving out. It is also about more than just who gets what set of towels or other personal items. In addition to all of your joint assets, you and your spouse will need to figure out how to split your debts. 

As explained by The Motley Fool, you will want to be very careful to ensure that you do not expect your divorce settlement to be able to dictate all of your debt division terms. This is because even if your decree stipulates that your spouse is responsible for a particular debt, a creditor could still pursue repayment from you down the road if your name remains on the account. This is true for credit cards, mortgages, car loans and more. 

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